A bit about,
My Story
I started out after graduating from High School as a working student for Lendon Gray. One of the most impactful things she said to me, one day early in my stay, was that I am inconsistent. She said when I want to do things well, I put in a lot of effort and do a really good job, but other times I am not putting energy in, and my results are mediocre. Although she pointed out this big deficit, she did not provide any tools for me to fix it. As I look back at this, I believe it is one of the many times in my formative years that I felt like I was a failure. People would see me from the outside looking strong. I kept working and I kept my interest in learning dressage, however, I often felt as though other people knew something that I did not, like I was missing something important.
As I had self-worth issues while I was growing up and I often made bad decisions, I was also trying to help other people. It came very naturally to me, the compassion to see in other people their capabilities, talents and their self-worth, and want to help them achieve and realize their goals, that’s my gift. I also really wanted to ride, and I love competing. However, I love competing because of the connection I developed with the horses, this was something competition really asked me to build. Some of my most peaceful and joyful times were when I was riding horses and I did not have to answer to someone about how short or long or fast or slow, or how much progress we were making on a timeline. So, although I did not develop a speedy way to grand prix, I did develop a connected and harmonious way when I was allowed to. During other times in my life I put more pressure on myself and I did not act in alignment with my own values, I put pressure on the horses, the pressure that was on me, that I perceived was from the outside. I think that through my life I went up and down about this.
My experience with Oded was very beneficial, not only because he taught me so much about riding, but because of the people we were able to interact with, the people I met, and the experiences I was able to have at the horse shows and these kinds of things. I did learn a lot, and I did progress in my riding, but I did take my eyes off my own goals and put them instead on his goals. During that time, he had a goal of riding in the Olympics for Israel, and although he was able to qualify for the European Championships and World Championships and this kind of thing, the Olympics became out of reach because of the Israeli Olympic Committee. What we learned is that even if we fall short of our personal achievement goals, some of the things we do in the process paves the way for the other people that come behind us. Being able to participate and watch and actually be part of the team, the team that keep the horses sound, healthy and working, while these other administrative things are going on, during this time I learned a lot about consistency and how important it is. Because, although I wasn’t being consistent in my effort for my own goals, I was super consistent in my effort toward Oded’s goals. What I learned from that is that I am very passionate about helping people.
Later, I took courses to learn and create strategies, super helpful strategies, that I can pass on to people. This is something that comes very naturally for me and is extremely fulfilling. Although I love riding, and I love what I have learned about being a dressage rider, taking on this new role of coach, as I look back, is something that my whole life has been preparing me for. One thing that I can say during my time is, having in the back of my mind that if you are not in the ring doing it, then you cannot coach me about it. I do feel that equestrian sports are unique, and in that way I believe that my experience and knowledge about taking a horse down the centerline, all kind of different horses, whether they were green and young, or horses that were a bit stuck and didn’t want to be competing anymore, or horses that were not athletic and lacked confidence about where their feet were and how to be that athlete they needed to be in order to compete in the sport, all of these experiences have contributed greatly to my overall knowledge of coaching equestrians. That being said, I do think that giving credit where credit is due, and learning from the people who are out there challenging the status quo, teaching people to get out of their own way, teaching these mindset strategies has absolutely improved my life. Where before I would not give credit to someone who wanted to step into our arena and give us coaching about being a better rider, if they were not a rider, I had to step out of the dressage world to learn more about the mindset aspects of teaching, training and competing. I have learned a lot about how to be more consistent, use my emotions in a good way and believe in myself and my abilities, from people who have spent their lives developing tools to amplify people’s talents and skill building. I had to step out of the equestrian world to learn what I wanted to learn and then bring it back to the sport. There have been so many times in my life I can look back on that were awesome teaching moments, and I am very grateful for the difficulties I have had, because these things have taught me so much. Learning from the people I had opportunity to learn from is amazing, not everyone who is taking up dressage will have these opportunities that I had to interact with the people that I have had the privilege to meet and learn from. These lessons that I have learned and the observations I have made, I am so passionate about bringing them out to people in this sport, especially in this time right now. On one hand we are seeing so much negativity about training methods and a lack of respect for the horses, yet, that doesn’t get less, because not everyone is comfortable finding a new way, and then teaching it. Of course, the people who do it another way are extremely busy and have managed to find a way to dedicate themselves to the process more than the outcome. They manage their lives in a way that blocks out the noise, they schedule things in a way that they only do what they can comfortably do in a day, and they have learned patience, knowing that each horse is it’s own entity, with its own gifts and shortcomings, which need to be dealt with in different ways. They honor their own values and their own self-worth, and the horses are not forced to be an extension of their egos.
The money in the business is pushing a whole other side where the consumerism makes you feel like you are not good enough, you don’t know enough, you don’t have enough, and like your horse is not fancy enough. Then the way people react on a daily basis with their horses, clients, students and trainers is impatient. So, my goal is to really help people get in touch with their own goals and their own dreams and what is really important to them. That unique way that they want to express themselves out in the equestrian world. We are not just the sum of two parts, a horse and a rider, that is a limited view. When you put a horse and rider together and that rider has belief, that horse feels that energy of belief and that confidence in it and the connection. The horse will grow into something much, much more than people originally perceived it to be. I have experienced this over and over again. I have had the opportunity to take on horses that others had given up on and become very successful with them. I have had moments where trainers told me things about the horses I was riding, that I chose not to believe, and those horses became much, much more than anyone else would have thought possible. I have also had a couple of instances where I was told that a horse was not capable or was not able, and I allowed that to slowly erode the confidence and effort I put in, until it did not become a successful partnership.
The second you allow someone else to affect how much effort you put into a project is the time you give up on your dreams. There are principles in riding we must adhere to, and we must learn, of course. However, there is also a mindset necessary for success, and this includes building a team of believers around you, the most important one being you, yourself. Equestrians are a bit resistant to Mindset Coaching, and I for one totally understand why. Now I think the community is missing out on an amazing tool, and my goal is to help people access this asset and build more successful partnerships with their horses, do well in the horse shows and create good businesses, all while enjoying the horses and the process.
I hope this inspires you!
Love to Ride! Nancy
