More fun less work!

     We have to remember that every day we take our horses out to work, we are taking them to the gym, and they are not understanding why they need to go to the gym!

     So how do we make it fun for them? Here are three ways to keep the training mentally light while still getting your work done:

                         Have a beginning, middle and end to your training session and be flexible about the middle!

                              1. Beginning is for warming up! Loosen the body and retune the aids. Do not be too strict, be playful and vary tempo, size steps and energy.

                              2. Beginning should relate to the middle! In other words what is your intention for the work and in knowing that, how can you prepare your horse the best for this subject?

                              3. If the beginning does not go as planned and your horse got up on the wrong side of the bed, notice and redefine the work for the day. Ride the horse you have, help him to develop into the horse you want, be careful not to ride what you wish you had and then be impatient.

                               4. Give the middle a purpose. Fitness, strength, accuracy, teaching something new, test riding, suppleness, forwardness, you pick the intention before you ride.

                               5. Be flexible, stay in the moment, if the intention is not working out on this giving day do what is necessary to have a productive day, do not be stubborn!

                               6. The end is for relaxing, stretching, hacking out, praise and gratefulness. Be sure to know what your horse likes as a reward. If he/she does not like to hack, that is something to work on but not to use as a reward :)

                    Vary the work!

                               1. Fitness work can be done on a track, in the field or by utilizing groundwork, cavaletti and even free schooling.

                               2. Don't repeat the same exercise over and over! Be creative! What is another way to teach that feeling or movement?

                               3. Keep a sense of humor when trying something new.

                               4. Within each movement have a beginning, middle and end. This will help you to keep the conversation open, get ready, go and finish. When something is not going well ask yourself what aid is not working? Then create an exercise that isolates this aid. After you feel it is better understood go back to get ready, go and finish .

                     Keep your sense of humor!

                                1. Meditate in the car or tack room (or Bathroom) a couple of minutes to free yourself from work, problems or your last ride.

                                2. Visualize your best selves and be free to chuckle at mistakes.

                                3. Remember that you Love to Ride and do not let outside influence or worry of other people's opinions interfere with your peace.

I hope this benefits you!

             Please share with anyone you think might benefit!

                          All the best,

                                    Nancy

                    

                    

                            

Positive Daily Practice

     

      Hello!

                I have finally decided to start the Blog again! After a fun and productive winter in Florida, I am back in New Hampshire and trying to get back into a routine. This makes me think about Daily Practice and how do we get back on track after getting distracted or having a setback?

                The most important thing to remember is that it is okay to have slow days, it is okay to take a break. We must forgive ourselves when we make mistakes and move on from the mistakes with renewed energy and a vision for the future. 

                 What are Positive Daily Practices? For me this is self-care. The act of paying attention to myself, my energetic health, my healthy body and my mindset. If I am able to take good care of myself, I will be much better equipped to do my job well and help others.

                  Taking care of horses can be time consuming and takes a lot of energy. Training people and horses is all consuming. I have many colleagues that are bleeding themselves dry trying to keep up with this heavy load. I have never ever felt bad about working hard with horses. I feel blessed every day to be doing something I love. I have in the last couple of years adopted some daily practices that are helping me stay physically healthy and have a better point of view as I help others.

         Everybody is different, so pick things that work for you. I am here to throw out ideas. Help you to realize that self-care is not a bad word, it is not selfish but instead it is a prerequisite to success.

                   Start by getting up just a little bit earlier so that you do not have to rush out the door. Start your morning by sitting with your tea or coffee and perhaps a journal and write a bit about how you want your day to go. If you have time perhaps do a little yoga, meditation or watch an inspiring video.

            Too much? Any of these things can be done by simply getting up one half hour earlier. Think of this as something you are doing only for yourself. Do not give this time to anyone else. Do not turn on your computer or phone. This is your time.

                    Another act of self-care is to plan your food! Buy healthy snacks, prep dinners ahead of time and shop in the produce section. The energy you will reap from your healthy eating will power you through your days with ease.

                    I am also an advocate for protein shakes. I buy clean organic protein powder and mix with fruit, veggies and some vitamins to help make up for when I am unable to cook for myself.

                Mindset practices? It is important to have positive self-talk. Start to pay attention to what you say to yourself and then consciously change the recording. It is so easy to be negative about ourselves and our mistakes. What we focus on we find. So always stay with the message that "the world is working for me" and "I can do it". If there is a little blip along the way learn from it and move on. 

                           Talk to your friends! When you find yourself in a negative place talk to your friends. Reach out! It is so easy to hide and get down, but talking about things, reaching out to a supportive friend can change your energy in just a couple of minutes. Know who your real friends are, this is very important!

                  Another really helpful thing to do if you feel down is help someone else. Can be big or small. Hold the door open, compliment a smile or an outfit, or even pay for someone's coffee. Such small things can change the day for someone and this will bounce right back to you.

            I hope that this benefits you! Please share with someone you know that might need a little boost.

                         Have an amazing day!

                                            Nancy

                

                

Comfort Food is not "comfort" food, let's stay confident and energetic!

           I have been super interested lately in food and how it affects our energy and performance. Sometimes the only way to really know what foods are right for us is to make a change and track  progress with a journal or at the very least a calendar where you can track good and bad days.

           Different diets are going to suit different people, and it is up to you to find out what foods help you feel healthy, confident and strong and which ones contribute to low energy and anxiety. There are some basics that I think apply to most of us, however, playing around with eating times, quantities and types of food are going to help you maximize your potential.

                           Some basics:

                                       Eat early in the evening

                                       Prepare snacks ahead of time so you don't get famished during the day and reach for the closest bag of chips.

                                       Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables

                                       Try not to eat processed food and fast food

                                       Stay hydrated. Drink water with some sugar free electrolytes or celtic sea salt and lime throughout the day. Sometimes when we think we are hungry we are dehydrated. 

                                       Plan ahead, shop, prepare, take time to care for yourself

                                       Balance proteins, carbs and fats to be suit your energy needs, carbs are not bad! Processed carbs are BAD! 

           When we have a bad day we often reach for food, or drinks, that are going to help us to feel more "comfortable". We have a bad day so we "deserve" a little splurge. The thing is that comfort food, things like chips, ice cream, mac and cheese are the worst things to bring up our mood. These foods are going to burden your system and cause your energy to plumet, making you feel even more down, which causes you to eat more bad food which makes you feel even worse. Believe it or not it is not the guilt over eating the crap that gets you depressed it is the crap food itself.

           Part of success is the ability to bounce back from adversity. We all are finding out that making mistakes is part of learning, there is no failure, only experience. How do we bounce back from a bad day quickly if we burden our bodies with toxic fuel?

                  I encourage you to change this habit!  The next time you have a bad day instead of feeling like you "deserve" some donuts, reach for some mixed nuts, prepare yourself a colorful salad and some healthy wild rice or sweet potatoes. Feed your brain and your stomach. The act of cooking for yourself, or going to a healthy restaurant and being surrounded by healthy people with boost your mood and help you to feel more empowered to take care of yourself. This energy will spill over into your work, relationship, riding, everything.

               Remember, bounce back is everything. We all have bad days, we make mistakes and life can get us down. Get to know your body, what foods help you feel great and what causes you to feel down or less competent? When we don't have energy we make bad decisions, when we make bad decisions things go wrong, when things go wrong we lose confidence. Keep your energy up! Hydrate and eat to fuel your body and success will follow.

                              Remember:

            Stay youthful in your approach, Connection is the key, and Anything is Possible!

                     Have fun,

                         Nancy

Showing

        It has come up again, in a big way, the impact that showing has on training and on our horses. As I was riding around the arena the other day I was thinking about this controversial topic and what it means to young people coming up in the sport. It is sad to see the horses recently eliminated from a show in Denmark for distressing lesions, the article can be found here. https://www.eurodressage.com/2022/06/11/eleven-combinations-sent-home-lesions-after-health-check-2022-danish-championships

       I see a lot of conversation on social media about how competition ruins horses and mars the quality of training. This is a subject close to my heart. I have had times where the competition got the best of me and I wondered if I really belong in the dressage sport. Of course in the end of the day, it is not competition that ruins the training, it is ego.

       Can we put the two together? Can we train the horses in a way that honors their undeniable interest to partner with us and be successful in the arena? Many people would like to blame the judges. Others blame certain trainers and training systems, and yet others don't even believe that a horse is a sentient being. I think it is all of our jobs to do the right thing, everyday and at the horse shows. I do not know that I would have the same satisfaction from training without the challenge of the show, I do know that I would make less training mistakes without the pressure from the shows. There have been times where my ego got the best of me and I did not handle the emotions well. After too many mistakes I became curious about how to get my mindset in the right place to ride from my deepest values daily and then work to take that with me to the show ring. 

        Training horses is a huge life lesson, everyday. I have a book to write about the parallels between living life to the fullest and riding dressage. We make mistakes, and pressure can push one to do things that are not congruent with our identity or beliefs. Money is a big motivator, and the pressure to keep business by showing up and performing well at the horse shows is a real thing. So, how do we manage these pressures? 

          I am not the only one who has had to step back and ask myself "what am I doing here?" I have watched through the years as people have stepped out of sport, changed their tactics and reinvented themselves. We have all watched as prominent trainers have taken time off, reevaluated and come back with new perspective and much more curiosity as to how to deal with training problems and create more connection and ultimately more points.

           It is our responsibility as trainers to draw a line. There are going to be times when the timeline to an event or pushing the horses to the pressures of age appropriate training is not correct. There are other times when things align and a horse moves seamlessly through stages of training and is in the winners circle. Of course age and wisdom help us to make these decisions. Success creates the respect to be able to make appropriate decisions and in doing so builds more success. 

           We all see in other top sport when someone pushes themselves inappropriately that their body breaks down. Mentally someone wants something bad enough that they do not listen to their own body,  from the injury they learn the lesson and hopefully make better decisions next time. We do have to push hard to be at the top, but there is a limit and when we cross the limit our body does not function. There is less judgement because we do it to ourselves.

            With horses it is not the same. We are able to use longer spurs, skinnier bits, longer whips to push the horses past their comfort zone. But, we all see at the very top of the sport are the people that are figuring out that when the horse wants to do it, the partnership is unbeatable. A horse performing under stress will not be triumphant over a horse that is willingly and knowingly partnering with it's rider, or will it? It is true that sometimes the judges cannot see the difference. A horse that is manhandled a bit in the warm up, or at home, can still look pleasant in the show ring. This is our responsibility,  to train daily with relaxation and teaching, rather than manipulation and stronger bits. It is our responsibility to learn the proper skills and apply them to our horses appropriately and with sincere appreciation for their willingness. We owe the sport this. Without a shift in our perspective horse sports are at risk.

             In America we do not have a system in place, yet, that asks riders to gain a certain number of points prior to moving to the next level. There is a belief that implementing this will cause hardship to trainers and limit the number of amateurs moving into the sport. Personally I disagree. And I believe that this simple rule change will already make a huge change in the way horses are treated. Success in dressage, in my opinion, is a combination of talent, skill, practice and mindset. Without learning the skill we cannot feel confident, without feeling confident we cannot ride in balance and harmony. Skill means the ability to sit correctly and apply the aids. When we are not made aware of the levels and why a certain acceptance of the aids is necessary, it is possible to get off course. We prioritize the wrong things, which ultimately puts the horse in a bad spot. As trainers we would all have better businesses if the playing field was evened out. We would have more time to create real riders and horse and rider partnerships. I believe that trainers would also improve because they would need to learn how to teach students to sit, ride in balance and apply the aids rather than balance themselves on a double bridle and ride off the program the trainer installed. 

               Why do we ride? Because we want to partner with this beautiful animal that very easily could tell us it is not interested. And yet they don't. They try and try often to their detriment. We need to honor this. As trainers we need to be willing to say what is necessary, be examples in the show ring and not succumb to winning no matter what. We will make mistakes, this is inevitable. I have made mistakes, being to strong and by trying not to be too strong, I have actually failed to teach my horse correctly and in doing so put her in situations that were uncomfortable and unfair. I have learned the hard way how to control my emotions and try to bring my truest self out to the show, even at the risk of not winning. I am inspired by riders who prioritize the partnership and the teaching. We can all look to them for examples of how to work in better harmony.

               We have also seen on social media that we don't need a trainer that praises us all the time, but one who tells the truth. I disagree. Everyone, even most amateurs can tell what is wrong, and most people sitting on the sidelines are happy to talk about it! Let's upgrade it! Let's talk about what is right, and grow it, and then learn how to communicate and teach. Learning how to ride is not easy and does not happen over night. Showing is exhilarating, there is nothing like it when a test goes well. If we go step by step through the levels and teach the requirements, have an appropriate horse and realistic goals, chances are we can have fun with our horses and be kind to them. Where we run into trouble is when we buy an inappropriate horse, find a trainer that is trying to build his business on our success or let the opinion of others influence our judgement. This can be at any level of the sport, if we are talking people just coming in or if we are talking about riders going to top international sport. 

                We owe it to the horses and we need to be examples for the young riders, who are the future horseman. I believe in horse sports. I love the challenge and I know that without the challenge of the shows I would not put as much energy and curiosity  into my training. Let's work together to be better stewards of our sport. Do we really need a third vet check to notice spur marks and mouth lesions? This is completely distressing, and I think we all can do better.

                               Love to Ride :)

                                       Nancy

Forced Pause

       Okay, here it is try number three!

        I am not sure how it happened that I did not post this a year ago!

            Funny that now I personally am on the other side of a forced pause. Yes, the virus infected me last week and gave me some time for reflection! The world was starting to get back to some kind of normal and now they start talking about yet another strain. I am very grateful for the environment I work in. I am able to stay healthy and strong and build a good immune system. That being said, somehow the virus was able to infect me for a short time and it has been many years since I spent a week without getting in the saddle. This gives renewed appreciation for the gift of my horses and being able to live this amazing life with them. And speaking of appreciation, I have a lot of gratitude for my girls Kristal and Shealyn for taking such awesome care of everyone while I was down and out.

           We are in Florida and the show season will start for Blonde and I next weekend. As I was training the last month I had a lot of enthusiasm toward this goal. Now I have a new percpective, it is amazing how a short break can put everything right. I am not saying that it was not right, because I feel that I definitly have a healthy respect for how lucky I am to be where I am and doing what I do. However, every single day is a gift. Every single day! So where before I think I was working toward the goal and having fun everyday, I was still! feeling the pressure to do it right more than the joy of doing it at all. So, body says, you do not appreciate enough, lets take a minute to think about it! And so this week of trying to get my riding muscles back from the Pillsbury Dough Boy and encouraging Blonde back into some kind of a frame capable of collected canter has been filled with joy and gratitude for every minute. It has definitly helped that we have been blessed with incredible weather and I have amazing help to keep me going while I build my strength back.

        So following is a short Blog I wrote some time ago and never pushed publish!

      Enjoy !

  This is an interesting time and I believe there are a lot of horse lovers out in the world that are lost without the ability to make goals for competitions and championships. 

           I started this blog post early in the spring when the virus put all of our shows on hold. For some reason I did not post it. So here it is revised and I am happy to see that many activities are starting back up and we are looking forward to have competition in Florida this winter.

            When your body needs a break and you do not give it one, it will take it anyway by means of illness or accident. The forced pause we have seen because of the corona virus has brought about many interesting changes, some we are yet to feel the results of.   

         For me taking a break from showing for the summer was great. I needed to make different goals and keep my energy and enthusiasm up about training in other ways beside looking forward to the competition. For the most part this has been really nice and a great learning experience.  I am super lucky to have the opportunity to be putting together a new partnership with a great mare, and having time to do this has been a gift. I did have a couple of times through the summer where it would have been nice to go and test my work, but I have had to find other ways to challenge myself. 

          I think we will see some interesting results next year as we move toward the postponed Olympics. Some trainers I feel will have dug deep into the issues that they might have otherwise not been able to tackle because of upcoming qualifications. These riders I think will come out with stronger, with better and more thorough partnerships and true collection. Others I fear may loose track of their goals and get distracted with the fears that are being pushed at us.

            I personally believe that all of us that are so lucky to be in the horse community, and in any vocation that allows us to work outside, will weather this storm and bring strength to other areas of the community that so need it.

               Enjoy your riding!

               Stay Youthful in Your Approach

               Remember:  Anything is Possible

               Connection is the Key!

                                                    Nancy

Horses treat depression, they don't cause it!

This has been bubbling up for a while. The recent discussions on face book have made it even more clear to me that our sport is missing something fundamental to its survival.

I have ridden horses, literally since before I could walk. Horses have taught me more about myself, people and life then I could ever ask for from another human. The honesty of a horse is tangible. Their utter dependence on us creates a vulnerability that it is hard to fathom. Early on I knew I wanted a life with horses. There have been times in the past where I lost motivation or became depressed, due to personal relationship problem or influence, and it was my horses that were there to pull me out of bed. There has only been one short time in my life when I doubted my dedication to continue as a trainer, and that was because of personal family tragedy. In a short time, it was once again my horses, or specifically my horse Glorious, that made me join life again and move on with new energy and determination.

I am sad to hear of all the depression, anxiety and pain people are perceiving from horse sports, and Dressage specifically. I have never gone to the Olympics. I have great respect for all of those who have accomplished this amazing feat, and the same with any of our top International Competitions. I also have a great deal of respect for the kids going after young rider championships, adult amateurs looking forward toward Regional's and all other accolades we offer in our sport.  I have won awards at every National level. I have competed on teams and I have had the amazing experience of showing in Europe. But I don’t remember the ribbons, I don’t care about the awards. What I do remember is the journey. I remember the partnerships that I have had with very special horses, what each individual taught me and how I can now apply it to new bigger challenges, in life and training.

I know for a fact that many of the people that stay at a high level of competition year after year find the journey is the most important part, the challenge, the partnership, the feeling in the ring like you are part of a team. This, for me, is success with horses. It is not possible to have lifelong success and fulfillment with horses if you do not partner with them. It is not going to bring you the right relationships, confidence and belief in yourself if you go out day after day forcing something or pretending to be someone you are not.

Along my journey I have found myself in situations where I did not ride well under pressure, I was stressed and rode in a way that was not kind to my partner. I needed to learn how to control my emotions and dig deep to find out who I was, and then I practiced being this person, even under pressure. I am not perfect at this, yet, but it is something that has made me a better person and a much better rider. Does pressure need to be competitive? No, it can be from an owner, from a nervous or even explosive horse, it can come from many situations, including money. We must recognize it and work through why we feel pressure. I ask my kids in the webinars “what values resonate with you? Who do you want to be? Who does your horse need you to be?” I have asked myself this all along in my life. Some of my hardest times have been when I was trying to be someone on the outside that I was not on the inside.

What does this mean? I came to a point in my life where I felt that I did not fit in to this sport. I thought I was not going to make money or  have success because I am unwilling to make horses into something they are not meant to be. I stopped selling horses because the clients made me sad how they treated my horses, I started thinking I was not good enough. One day I woke up and started looking actively for people who believed like I do. I stopped feeling alone and instead I built a network of people that I can call on when I lose my way, when I feel alone or if I don’t have the right answers. I keep these people close, even if in distance they are miles away. I encourage you to build a network of your own.

I also found that I love kids! I love teaching kids and I love watching horses and how they behave with kids. Everyone told me that "kids today are not the same as we were, you are wasting your time, why do you bother with that?" they would ask me. What if it is not the kids? What if it is us. What if we are the tainted ones and we don’t like seeing the joy in the kids like we once had. I love horses and everything they have done for me. I love how they kept bringing me back to myself when I got off track, I love that they never judge me and they always try. Most especially sometimes I need to learn how to ask the right questions and in the right way. Kids deserve this also. They deserve to learn as we did while we were growing up. We must not put our pressures on them. These kids that love horses have the right to make partnerships, even with the horses or ponies that will not win championships. They have the right to make mistakes, fall off and figure out how not to do that next time. That is how we learned. If we want them to work hard and be “like us” then we need to let them have the fire that horses put in our bellies and it does not always come from winning. Sometimes it just comes from cantering in the woods with a partner that you know you are safe with.

I read something about Steffen Peters and his depression about not feeling he is good enough for the horse he has now. One of the ways he is solving it is to wake up in the morning and remind himself of his wins with other horses. I want to say to everyone; the partnership you have now is the one you must honor. Your horse needs you to notice him, who he is and who you are together. That is the beauty of these guys. We must not look at the faults, we must grow the strengths. Each horse is different and to not be present with them where they are now is to fail in the relationship.

I work hard, and I love what I do. I feel lucky to be able to get up and spend my day with these amazing animals. I am grateful to my family and to my clients who support me and support the special gifts that I bring to this barn and to the sport. Please, don’t discourage kids from riding, but, don’t make them ride for the wrong reasons. Horses are not made for us to make money from, they are not to make us famous and they are not here to build ego. Horses are here to teach us about our inner strength, who we are on the inside and what we can achieve when we get out of our comfort zone. Know who you are on the inside and grow this through your experiences riding, showing and training. When you get up every day and train your horses with love and compassion, when you honor your students, their goals (not yours) and impart your knowledge to them thoughtfully and find your own special contribution to this sport, horses will come to you. Some of the horses that come will be better than others in the show ring, but they will all teach you something important.

              There is a lot more to come on this subject! I think it is so important! Let’s start a new conversation. Please don’t discourage you people from riding. Let’s be an example of what good partnerships are about. Horses solve depression, they do not create it! We must invite them into our lives the right way.

Please comment, email me or call me with your thoughts.

Be Youthful in Your Approach

Connection is the Key

Remember, Anything is Possible

                                                Nancy

Overcoming Fear

   I was listening to a podcast the other day and the speaker was talking about training first responders, firemen and the like not to  panic in emergency situations. He was talking about freeze and flight and the minds desire to keep us safe. As he was talking about it I realized that all of what he is talking about could be applied to riding, and wouldn't it be helpful if trainers had some of this knowledge.
   I believe that many students are incapable to get their bodies to do what we want, (and what they want,) because their mind is telling them to be careful. There are several ways to override this. One way is to push through, not acknowledge that you are riddled with tension and try to make pretend with your horse like everything is okay. This method creates a lot of pressure between the rider and the horse and eventually leads to misunderstanding. Another way is to keep yourself in a "safe" environment, never challenge your control and ride with the fear that has manifested itself, and is actually quite real. A better way to manage this is to teach your body and your mind that you are safe, you have control and nothing is going to happen because of this control. The control comes down to awareness and presence.
    The first and foremost way to deal with fear is to notice that you have it and to find how it manifests itself in your body. The fear does not have to be about getting injured, it can be about doing something wrong, not being good enough and/or what people think. We all have these fears. What is the most predominant fear in your riding? (Life?)
   Ask yourself how does this fear show up in my riding? (Life?) Some ways can be physical tension, gripping, holding on, stiffness, grabbing when your horse becomes unsteady, not being able to sit in the trot and in the canter, spooking, resistance, pulling, the list goes on. How could we look at this in life? Are there other aspects of our lives where we don't feel in control?
     We all have fear, some of us have trained our minds/bodies better than others.  Some have chosen to ignore it and ride (and go through life) with out acknowledging the damage this fear is causing.
               Letting go of fear.
                        Ride the right horse! Get a horse that is less reactive until you feel like your body is under control. A horse that knows the job and is confident in his/her surroundings.
                       If you notice tension in your body and an inability to tell your limbs what to do:                                        Talk to your trainer (this could also cause fear!)
                             Practice breathing
                             Meditate, there is a specific way I meditate for these situations. I will sit or stand and ground myself. Focus on my breathing. Then I will put myself into the situation I am stressed about in my minds eye. I will go through the test, lesson, training session (conversation) in my mind and I will breath through any difficulties I believe might arise. I will notice the tension and where it comes in my body and I will breath it away. I will also tell my brain that I am capable to deal with this situation, we have trained for this and I can trust myself to react in the correct way when necessary.
                             Get yourself good training on how to deal with unpredictable horses.
                             Learn to read body language, horse and people.
                            Know that everyone has something they fear, so do not compare yourself to others. Someone may seem to be ahead of you in some aspect of their life, and yet they may have been on a different journey, you have learned other things while on your path.
                           Be in the present, try not to think about past bad experiences. If it helps to bolster your confidence, remind yourself of other times you have had success, but live in this just a moment and then bring yourself to the present. Being in the present will help you to respond correctly according to what is happening now. You cannot imagine how many times we are responding in the present moment to something from the past.
                            Be aware. Get out of your head and develop your  peripheral vision. Open your head. Relax your eyes and your brain. Take in the surroundings in a relaxed way. This ability will help you to notice what your horse might notice. Because of this you will be be able to tell him/her that it is okay, your communication and ability to ask them to turn, stop or go will put their mind back on you, and thus at ease.
                             Know that your horse knows everything about you. You cannot fool them. Build a true connection and trust your communication and they will grow from this. Doubt them and ultimately yourself and this will manifest itself. We all need help with the skills, learn the skills. However, it is important that on the inside you know you can do it. Practice this knowing.
                             Teach your body slowly and methodically not to react to stress by getting tight. We can do this while driving, yoga, exercise and anytime in our daily life we have a conversation or stressful activity to do. This tightness and tension does not just manifest itself when we are riding, it is there in other areas and we can work on it then to help train it for our riding.
                            Practice not judging others. If you are able to be compassionate about where other people are on their learning curve. You will have a much easier time not judging yourself. In order to improve we must start where we are. That is acknowledging our strong points and our weaknesses and then putting one foot in front of the other to improve. We cannot jump over certain lessons. We must work through them. You know on the inside what you need to work on, don't pretend. True success will not come if you pretend.
                      Some people have this mantra "fake it till you make it". I am not a believer in this. I believe that you must know who you are and behave like this person. We all need to learn, however, we also have an innate ability to find the right answers and the correct action when we are open, present and relaxed. Faking it will bring you to an outcome that does not represent you. Knowing who you are and then being that person even in stressful situations, that is created over time and with practice. Stress can be created in many different ways. What is easy for you may be hard for someone else. Don't worry. Start where you are. This is the only way to improve.
                         I hope this helps you and brings you the success you are looking for.
                                  Be Youthful in Your Approach
                                  Remember Anything is Possible
                                  Connection is the Key

                                                  Nancy